Cleaning the Orville is not as easy as you think

I was so excited to be starting my new job as head cleaner aboard the Orville. I had trained for this for years and had worked on many other star ships, but finally now I was in charge. My first day arrived and I assembled the team together for a briefing session. You would think that cleaning a star ship would be no different to any other cleaning job, but you couldn’t be more wrong. My time working for http://cleaningcompanycheltenham.co.uk who are a Commercial Cleaning Company Cheltenham back on the Planet Earth had given me a great start in my quest to be an interstellar star ship cleaner crew manager.

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Day one and I have had my first meeting with the leadership crew. Now I’m not one to talk out of turn but that is one weird set up. The captain and his second in command used to be married before she had an affair with an alien called Darulio. It has left things a little bit tense on board to be honest. Although it turns out this Darulio was on some kind of alien funky loving time that meant he was irresistible to anyone who came into contact with him so perhaps they’ll make up. Anyway, after my briefing session I set about assigning locations to my team and I like to be a hands-on manager so like to make sure that I give myself an area to cover. So, I became responsible for the walkways between the crew members quarters. It should have been a nice and easy one to do but I soon found out that with a staff member like Yaphit on board it was going to be nothing short of a nightmare! To explain, Lieutenant Yaphit isn’t like your normal run of the mill crew member in that if he were put through an actual mill, he would quite happily come out the other side of it no worse for wear as he is a big gelatinous lump of slime. I’m not being rude there; he actually is a big gelatinous lump of slime. While this is great for him and the ship, it’s helped us out of a few tight spots, partly because he can fit in some incredibly tight spots when in engineering. The only trouble is he does sometimes leave a bit of a trail.

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As a result I’ve had to put about two or three teams just on his areas alone!